I honestly have no idea the last time I drove a go-kart. Probably back in early high school when we frequented the Putt-Putt on Summer Ave in Memphis Bartlett. But today – oh yes – there were go-karts. Even better, they were INDOOR. Inside of an old Kroger (seems to me a genius idea to do with a giant space like an old grocery store… so why oh why did I not think of it first)?
We had attempted this place during Spring Break, which of course was a #fail since 95% of our third of the state was on the same break. Or so we thought. After today we realized that this place has regulars. Like Norm at Cheers. Or for that matter, like me at Aubrey’s. A gang of scraggly guys, all ages and shapes, and all in major need of a shower and shave. I’m somewhat surprised these guys didn’t drive right in in their own go-karts, vanity plates and all. This place full on-races, qualifying and grand-prix and possibly their own Winston Cup.
Oh – “this place” is called Veloce. Don’t ask me how to pronounce it.
Our little totaled four girls ages nine and ten, and two boys ages seven and eight. All super experienced drivers. Plus me, another mom and a super-tall dad.
There were kid cars maxing out at 25mph, and adult cars maxing out at 50mph. Eileen actually qualified for the adult kart since she’s part giraffe, but no way would I let her in on that 50mph track!
Once we’d paid up (just one kidney each), the race track guy instructed the kids to go put on clean head socks. I look at fellow parentals utterly confused, just as the children bolt over to the shelf of clean head socks. How the hell do these kids know what a head sock is?! And why do they know where they are and how to put them on? Before I can finish being baffled, the kids have fastened on their helmets over their clean head socks and are strapped into their assigned kart. These are the moments when I question who has allowed me to keep this small human alive.
And then they were off, Eileen leading the charge. And they totally went for it! It was hilarious. So as they were racing, it was the adults turn to suit up! Thank goodness the kids had demonstrated how to use this head sock.
The hilarious thing about this picture ^^ is that fellow dad Dave and I have known each other since we were 18, having met at COLLEGE ORIENTATION the summer before we started our Freshman year. If you had told our 18year old selves that 20+ years later, our girls would be best friends and we’d be at a race track putting on head socks, we’d have laughed in your face and returned to our keg stands.
For the record, I am not a fan of a head sock. I now have even more respect for Danica Patrick, as these things are itchy, smelly, and make one’s whole head prickle with sweat. I’m also leery of how clean (or not) this thing was.
The kids wrapped up and were shouting with glee and ohmygawdthatwassoooawesome. I, of course, was hollering at Eileen through my muzzle of a helmet + headsock to come get my phone because all of this had to be documented. If ever there was an adventure in activewear, this would be it. Just in the knick of time she got said phone and scooted out of the way just before I would have smacked into her shin. I was all excited to be first. I was gonna ROCK this.
Or, not.
I may mimic Ms. Patrick when I’m out on I-40 speeding past all the mini-vans, but apparently not so much when on an actual racetrack. I started first, and ended last. In fact, my time was only :04 faster than Eileen’s… and her car was 25mph slower than mine.
But who cares? It was so much stinkin fun! It was hilarious. I spun out twice, once on accident and then on purpose because it was so fun. Dave and Michele left me in their dust, and I think once I almost killed Dave when I stopped short and he had to swerve around me as he was lapping me. My whole face shield thing started steaming up bc I was laughing and breathing so hard through that head sock I was creating a sauna in my head.
When it was all said and done, we had seven laps of epic fun. I highly recommend go-karts for a stress reliever. Who needs to be an adult when you’re on a race track? And if you need a buddy, I still have two rounds left on my ticket. Wear your active wear.
And if you watch and don’t blink, you’ll see Eileen whiz by and wave.
Adventures In Active Wear 