BUNNY!!!!!!

You guys. What is it about our house and wild animals?

In the past four years:

• a bird trapped in the house on Thanksgiving day (and no, I don’t mean the one in the oven)
• a dead mole left for us in the dining room
• a baby bunny brought to us on the night before Easter
• and the latest.. a baby bunny in the house… FOR 24 HOURS

And, just for fun, three of these four adventures have taken place when Bill happened to not be home. #facepalm

On to today..

quick set up: we have a dog-door on the screened-in porch,  and the porch door leads into the dining room. when it’s nice out, sometimes said dining room door is left open to let in fresh air.  as was the case yesterday.

Around mid-morning, I saw Finn trot into the den from said porch rather quickly – that kind of trot when you KNOW your kid/pet is trying to not be noticed because THEY know they’re doing something wrong.  I follow him into the den, and he was frantically sniffing all around the couch. Weird. He wasn’t barking, not whining or scratching, just sniffing and sniffing. Clearly there wasn’t a toy stuck under it, because why would that require laps around the WHOLE couch?

I actually texted Bill to say I thought there might be a critter in the house.  But soon after, Finn had lost interest. And Cedar – generally the more hyper and verbal of the two – had ZERO interest in the couch. So I blew it off and forgot about it.  I mean, if Cedar didn’t care, then there was clearly nothing to worry about.

The day moved along with exciting adventures like laundry, a Target run and doctor appointments. Fascinating I know. The point is the dogs were alone in the house for several hours. SEVERAL HOURS. I’ll come back to that.

Day moves into night. Crazy storms (again). We watched a movie, in the den, with the dogs. Then went to bed, the dogs curled up in their spots, in the den.

Nothing to report here. Just normal suburbia. Laundry. Gym. Cleaning the house.

Ahh.. cleaning the house. I’m dusting and sweeping.  Ahhh..sweeping. We have hardwood floors and two Golden Retrievers, even with their summer cuts, the fur in our house is EPIC. Since I am such an amazing house-cleaner, I do that kind of barely-there sweep, where about 1/4-inch of the broom goes under the couch to make it look like there is no fur and dust.

Around this time, Cedar starts to go bananas. Running around the couch, sniffing and clearly agitated. I use that handy phone flashlight function, lay on the floor, and see a nasty fur-covered tennis ball. UGH.  I know he won’t leave it alone until I get that blasted ball. I can’t reach with my right hand, so I roll into some pretzel position trying to reach it with my left. Strrrretching and I can just reach it with my fingertips.

AND THEN IT MOVED.  OMG I TOUCHED IT. 

I’m not entirely sure how I didn’t break glass with the noise that came out of my body. I somehow managed to gain a modicum of control and get a peek again and all I COULD SEE WERE EARS.

Along with being an amazing housekeeper, I rock at adulting. Which is why I promptly ran frantically to the porch to summon Mini for moral support. In case you’re not aware, Mini is about 10 weeks shy of 12 years old.  #facepalmtimestwo

Bill was home with a click of his heels. He was stunned at the bunny’s size (turns out this was most certainly not a baby), and even he, thick farm gloves and all, was leery of getting the bunny. It may be cute, but rabies is not.

Here’s what’s even crazier:

• called our exterminator; they don’t do anything bigger than mice
• called the business they recommended – they could not get to us today because they were so busy.  Wait, what? I mean how many wild animal situations are happening in this town?
• called the next recommendation – they were able to get us worked in.

Clearly I should consider running a similar business?

Varmint Catcher was in and out of the house in less than five minutes. I was amazed. He had special gloves and a cage, and clearly is not a fraidy cat. For any PETA members reading – the bunny did have a minor wound and was being taken to a clinic to be treated and re-released.  I’m hopeful the bunny warns all his bunny friends to stay far, far away from our house.

During all of this, the dogs were on the porch (with ceiling fans, shade and ice-water, as it is hotter than hell’s front door out there). Barking like maniacs. Which has left me with a helluva headache. There will be wine or Tito’s later.

The fact that this bunny was IN THIS HOUSE for 24 HOURS and LEFT ALIVE is nothing short of a miracle. I can’t believe we didn’t come home from yesterday’s errands and walk into a scene from Criminal Minds.

Not that I’m complaining.

And for those keeping score, active wear was worn by me throughout this adventure.